Power, Penetration, and Peril: Deconstructing Queer Desire in Ancient Rome

Forget “gay” and “straight.” To understand same-sex relations in Ancient Rome, we must first recognize that the culture privileged status and dominance over sexual orientation. The driving question was not who a man desired, but who was on top—both literally and figuratively. This emphasis on active (penetrating) versus passive (penetrated) roles created a unique, complex, and often brutal framework for queer desire.

Status Before Sexuality: The Roman Binary

For the high-status male Roman citizen, sex was fundamentally an expression of authority. He was expected to be the penetrator (active partner) in all encounters, regardless of whether his partner was a woman, a boy, or a slave man.

The Ultimate Taboo: The most significant social crime was for a freeborn man to be suspected of enjoying the passive role. This wasn’t illegal, but it was profoundly shameful. A reputation as a “bottom” (pathicus) instantly stripped a man of his gravitas (dignity) and political clout, making him the target of vicious satires and career-ending gossip.
The Political Weapon: Rumors of passive conduct were routinely deployed as political smears, as seen in the attacks on Julius Caesar, who was derided as the “Queen of Bithynia.” This confirmed that a man’s honor was irrevocably tied to his sexual assertiveness.

Legal Ambiguity and Power Imbalance

The absence of a formal “anti-homosexuality” law did not equate to liberation. Roman “tolerance” was severely restricted by class and legal status.

The Scourge of Slavery: The most difficult aspect for a modern reader is the pervasive role of slavery. Enslaved individuals—who served as sex workers (pueri meritorii) or household companions—had virtually no legal recourse or right to consent. For a master, sex with a male slave was a non-scandalous use of property, highlighting the exploitation inherent in many same-sex acts.
Lex Scantinia: While its exact scope is debated, this statute hinted at societal discomfort, likely penalizing sexual acts with freeborn minors. It sought to protect the purity of future citizens, not to enforce sexual orientation, underscoring that the law prioritized class protection over moral policing of same-sex acts.

Acts of Desire: Going All the Way

Unlike Greek customs, which sometimes favored intercrural sex (thigh-rubbing) to preserve a young man’s “integrity,” Romans were more direct. Evidence from poetry and graffiti confirms that anal and oral sex were common.

The Penetrator’s Prerogative: The specific act didn’t matter as much as the role. A dominant male could engage in anal penetration (futuere) or even forced oral sex (irrumare), and his status would remain intact.
The Mark of Shame: Conversely, a freeborn man who performed oral sex (fellare) or was anally penetrated was mocked and shamed, reinforcing the core cultural value: respect hinged on dominance, not desire.

Love and Legacy: Beyond the Shame

Despite the strict rules, genuine affection sometimes transcended the power dynamic, leaving behind romantic echoes.

Hadrian and Antinous: This stands as the clearest example of public, imperial devotion. Emperor Hadrian openly adored his young Greek companion, Antinous. When Antinous drowned, Hadrian was so devastated he deified him and founded cities in his name. This relationship highlights that deep, romantic same-sex bonds could exist, especially among those with supreme authority.
Coded Language: Poets like Catullus and Martial wrote verses hinting at intense male attachments, suggesting that while public relationships were risky, discreet affairs and heartfelt desires were a reality of everyday life.

Modern Reflection

Ancient Rome is a paradox. It offers a liberating glimpse into a culture that didn’t pathologize same-sex desire with modern labels, yet it simultaneously reveals the brutal power dynamics of a society built on class and slavery. For LGBTQ+ people today, recognizing these histories is both an act of empowerment—confirming our presence across civilizations—and a sobering reminder that sexual liberation must always be tied to the fight for equitable rights and consent.

What aspects of the Roman social structure do you think created the greatest challenges for men who desired same-sex relationships?